Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope # 30

Aries – Now, in a remote location, the dawn is breaking and angels are urging us on, saying, “Up! Up! Take your life and be off! Or be swept away! Give up money. Give up the dreams. Up!” But this house is majestic.

Taurus – All the people interviewed by our agents witnessed the thunder and lightning (or something like them). The blood on the mountain and the blare of the horn overwhelmed them. They crumpled.

Gemini – She is upset. She telephones at 4 in the morning. Beat him with bread sticks. Death or Diarrhea are the only acceptable excuses at this point.

Cancer – This is how you should deal with the police when it is an inside job – go on the run. Contact those who do not belong. Contact the mechanic, the fixer. The nations hereabout will hide – even from you. Do you understand? Go north and forget this ever happened.

Leo – 26,000 men, fighting men and sweethearts. 700 wicked men in an hour. This is all nonsense, of course. Nothing is what it looks like. Everything is mixed, and everything is weirder – much stranger – than you believe. The one you respected before is slowly turning into a caricature, a crank. What can be done? The spite and the hate and the fear is growing. The good man is disappearing.

Virgo – Pronounce the name, the secret name, the name known only to the Brotherhood of Games, and your only friend in the world will show up at your doorstep. He is on his way. Call him. Like a Faustian nightmare, he’s on his way. His name is hidden in the code. Blow the trumpet at the appointed hour and the white void will be opened to you.

Libra – You are better off where you are, despite the crying babies. The siege of your city cannot go on indefinitely. Siege engines rust and walls collapse. Soldiers starve; they will cry as loud as those unsettled infants.

Scorpio –   There were extensive mutations among the people (whoever they were). What green was over their heads? What happened to our friends? There may have been a plan at one point in time, but Father never revealed it. Not to me. Perhaps it was ‘Flee to Mexico.’ Perhaps it was ‘Run to Canada!’ I do not know. I’m not myself and I don’t remember all that it is that I do not know.

Sagittarius – Next you will be asked, “What did you see in the palace?” and you will answer, “I have seen everything there is to see in the palace. There is nothing in the store rooms that I did not see.” If you do not respond in this way, the guards will know you are a fraud. Identity theft is a felony, even in this state.

Capricorn – Your ancestors went down to Egypt in a little rowboat. A long time gone. Where are you now? Gone? Lost? Afraid? Did you and your lovely wife disappear into the river?

Aquarius – Accursed is the one who steals a dream. Accursed is the one who brings the news of my birth. Haven’t you read what was written? We’ve heard from the liars on the left and the liars on the right. We’ve heard the thundering voices of those who sit above us, making allegations and demands without reason and hearing no response.

Pisces – Let me go with you into the wilderness. Let me walk with you through the forest. Somewhere beyond the mountain, over the border, over the wall is a land flowing with milk and honey. Drive me to the station. I must go. Go now. Let me go with you. You can go with me. We can be grifters and drifters. We work when we are together, even if one of us is a stubborn ass.